view from the rooftop

Say What You Mean

We were fortunate to be able to spend Christmas with some friends on the rooftop of the house we live in. They loved the view and the sunshine. I was asked, “Are you guys up here all the time?” Without thinking I replied, “We are too busy.” Being an avid reader of this blog, a guest called me on my response. “Either you are lying or you are a hypocrite. Aren’t you the life coach who creates her life her way? How could you be too busy?” He was right. I wasn’t too busy. We were simply choosing not to use the rooftop. The truth is due to short winter days, it is too dark to have dinner on the rooftop and we simply don’t think about it other times. (We’ll explore this more next week.)

The question is, why did I respond with a flippant untruth instead of expressing the reality of the situation? I realized I was saying what I thought they wanted to hear. I was responding how “normal” overwhelmed people would respond. I was keeping the spotlight off me and downplaying the blessings I have in my life. But why? Why am I driven to keep myself small? Why am I inclined to say what I believe others want to hear instead of speaking my truth? Why am I unintentionally lying?

view from the rooftop

The real question, however, is not “why” but what am I going to do with this information. How am I going to change the way I speak to better serve me? Here are a few things I am committed to doing this new year to reclaim my truth and my life.

Think Before Speaking

When I was asked about rooftop usage, my response was out of my mouth before I realized it. How many times are our words kneejerk reactions instead thought-out responses? Just like during anger or stress, before speaking I plan to take a breath. This will give me time to consciously choose my words, ensuring my words match my intention.

Speak My Truth

Instead of saying what I think others want to hear or saying what I think is the “right” and “normal” thing to say, I will speak my truth. Even if that truth is not popular, I am committed to expressing my truth, my words, my way.

Express What I Want

The biggest realization about this incident was how I was unknowingly creating a negative attitude and experiencing a less than ideal life with my response. Instead of saying, “I am so blessed to have this amazing view and want to resume my morning meditations up here,” I joined the mantra of our modern world expressing the lack of time, being overwhelmed by responsibilities, and the belief that life is hard. This year I am committed to speak only the words that create the world I want to live in. I will abstain from sarcasm or negativity. My words will show appreciation, abundance, hope, and joy.

What would you like to change for yourself in 2017?  How would you like experience life differently? Join me in saying what you mean and meaning what you say, or share with us your intention for 2017 here.

Comments (2)

  1. Michele Malo
    January 6, 2017

    I really love this, it shows you are human. I am truly trying to make a change this 2017 and get out of my own way and scheduling things that matter to me, that bring me joy. It took me a long time to finally listen to you. Sometimes you know what to do you just need to be ready to take action.

    • Melissa Heisler
      January 6, 2017

      Yes, LOL. I am nothing in not human. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” The first step is hearing the message. Then committing to it. And now were you are, acting upon it. You got this!

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