Hey all. Remember me? Sorry it has been a bit since I have written. I have been busy actively adapting to the new normal. As a society, we have been going through a major overhaul. We are learning to look at ourselves and our lives differently. Nothing like a two-year house arrest to give us some solitary time to rethink who we are and what is important. For me, the learning is continuing with an exploration of patience, surrender, and trust.
As a recovering Type A, unresolved situations are still very challenging for me. Lately I have been gifted with a few such situations. So far this year, we have had to wait a month for a new refrigerator after ours died; we adapted by using a small cooler and making frequent runs to the grocery story. After our refrigerator was fixed, we ran out of propane and there was none to be had for two days, keeping us from cooking on the stove and having hot showers; thankfully we have a grill for cooking, and it is hard to express the joy I had during my first hot shower after we were able to receive propane. Sprinkled into these home challenges were Mexican business irregularities and the fact that we are still waiting for the title for a property we purchased in December. Ten years ago, any one of these things would have sent me into a tailspin. I would have gone full “Karen” on customer service people, my husband, and anyone in earshot. Today, instead, I experienced some powerful lessons in patience, surrender, and trust.
Patience was never one of my strengths. I am much more of a planner and executor. Many of my recent challenges were not on my timeline, nor within my control. What I learned was it was not the timing that was hurting me, but my obsession with the time. It was not that the refrigerator was going to be yet another week late; it was the story I told myself about it. The story was that it was an inconvenience, it was unfair, it was unsettling. I felt anxiety solely because of the timetable. Truthfully, we adapted well to not having a refrigerator. I adjusted what types of food I purchased and how frequently I bought them. My husband and I made do. We ate regularly and we ate well. The problem was all in my mind that things were unbearable until we could have a new appliance in place. When I was able to accept the delay, all the pain went away. Patience was easy when I accepted the timing, the ever-changing timing, and flexibly adjusted to the situation.
Part of being able to become more patient was due to surrendering. Another way I brought pain upon myself was thinking I could do anything about the situation. Yes, I could make a phone call to customer service, but that is about as far as my power went. If I held on to the false belief that I could do more, it only brought more pain. The reality was that I was powerless in this situation. When I could surrender to that fact, when I could accept the ever-delayed delivery dates and that the timing was beyond my control, I felt relief.
What I really learned through all of this is that I don’t feel safe when things are not resolved. I realized that I try to make things happen, and make them happen on my timeline, so I can feel safe. Yet, honestly, constantly trying to control in the past made me feel less safe, not more. 2022 has gifted me with opportunities to accept situations, surrender to what I can control and what I can’t, and relax into a state of patience. When I can do this, things happen when they are meant to happen, and it is ok. I need to remember these times so when my next challenge arises, and it will, I will be able to trust that it too will be resolved in right timing.
What has 2022 or these past years been teaching you? Share with us here.